I Hate Home Schooling

"I Hate Home Schooling!" Not all who home school think home school's cool. Maybe you've home schooled all your life, and you're wondering what you've been missing at school. Isn't it time for a change? Or maybe your folks pulled you out of school, and you just can't seem to get into home schooling. It might work for other people, but not for you. At one time or another most home-school students have cast a curious, if not longing, glance in the direction of public or private schools.

And that's to be expected. The unknown is always appealing. But let's be honest the reasons for home schooling are still just as strong. High school hasn't changed anything. More often than not, the real reasons students want to go to school aren't very impressive.

Rarely is the motivation for leaving home schooling related to education and preparation for the future. Okay, coming from a magazine for home-school teens, what other answer are you going to get? Not exactly unbiased you're thinking. The truth, however, is that New Attitude is a Christian magazine before we're a home-school magazine. We're not here to please anyone but God. And we believe home schooling, when it's an option, is the best way to utilize the teen years for God's glory.

Freed from a constant bombardment of distractions found in institutional schools, you can focus on what's really important study, character, and your walk with God. Can you have more fun in school? Definitely. No question about it. But what is this time really all about? Where will you be three or four years from now? What will you have to show for these years? Don't buy into the lie that high school is a time to kick back and have a good time. Too many kids find themselves on the other side of graduation unprepared for life and wishing they could start over.

But it's too late. Home schooling isn't without hassle. There are problems no matter which road you take. We've listed what we believe are the most common. Even though there are others, these are the ones that seem to come up the most.

We asked four home-school students (Timothy Lash, Kara Griffith, Rachel Blair, and Matt Duffy) to each address one of the problems and give their own suggestions for reaching a solution. If you have the opportunity to home-school, please don't take it for granted. If you're struggling with one or more of the issues discussed here, don't give up. We hope these articles will help. Problem #1: I Can't Get Along with my Parents! You want out.

You've tried home schooling and realized it's just another form of slavery. Even the galleys would be better than another day with Mom. She's mostly the problem, of course. Every school day she becomes Mrs. Slave Driver.

She tells you to finish math before you watch TV, or something equally cruel. Then the war starts. You toss a grenade; she launches a missile. Near the end you're slashing each other with verbal bayonets. After the fight, Mom tells Dad you have a bad attitude.

Ouch! Every fight hurts your relationship, but there's nothing you can do. If Mom and Dad want to do this home-school thing, they're the ones who should make it work. Right? Wrong the job is yours. Roll up your sleeves and get moving. Where to Start You can tackle your parent problems in one of two ways.

One, you can blame Mom and Dad and hope they'll suddenly change. I've tried this, and it doesn't work. Two, you can take responsibility for changing the situation yourself. I've tried this, and it does work. The principle is simple.

Before I fix someone else's problems, I have to fix mine. To improve your relationship with parents, you have to work on yourself. Here are a few suggestions: Smile and Obey This is the simplest way to get along with parents. When you do what Mom and Dad say, you will make a big difference. Admittedly, obedience isn't thrilling.

It doesn't make you laugh and do cartwheels in the living room, but thrilling or not, it's what God expects. Paul writes, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right." (Eph. 6:1) You must obey your parents if you want to obey God. And don't just obey have an attitude that matches your actions.

Smile even when you disagree or don't understand. A little cheerfulness can go a long way. Remember, a soft answer turns away wrath and a merry heart does good like a medicine. (Prov. 15:1; 17:22) Trust God Sometimes you don't get what you want.

You rage and fume, or whine because your parents won't capitulate. But stop and think. Who's really in charge? Not you, not even your parents. God is in control. Among other things, He designed lines of authority, submission, and servanthood.

And be honest, though your parents aren't perfect, the fact they sacrifice themselves to home school gives a pretty clear message that they want the best for you. They're not your enemies. So drop the self-pity junk and trust God. When things don't go the way you intended, make it a matter of intense prayer. And then leave the outcome in His hands.

Wear Their Shoes Use Christ's tool for relationships, the Golden Rule (Luke 6:31). Imagine the roles are reversed in your home. What would I want if I was Mom? Patience, gentleness, encouragement. When you put yourself in their shoes, you'll appreciate parents more. This little idea helps me a lot.

Communicate Keep the lines of communication open. The Bible gives us a lot of instruction about communication. It tells us to listen more, talk less and not to get angry easily. (James 1:19) But this doesn't mean you clam up and nod distractedly when your mom wants to talk with you! We need to open up our hearts to our parents and share our lives, thoughts and dreams. They may not always fully understand or approve, but their great love for us covers a multitude of sins.

And if they know us better, they can be praying for us more effectively. If things have deteriorated a bit at your house and you need help getting started, try communicating with a letter. It won't even cost you thirty-two cents because you can hand deliver it or tape it to their bathroom mirror. A heartfelt apology is a good opening line, and then express your desire to be close to them. Most parents are more than ready to meet you halfway.

Always Love The heart of getting along with parents or anybody is love. Paul urges, "Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love." (Eph. 4:2) Challenge yourself to show Christlike love to your parents. It's a good training ground for every future relationship.

If you spend your childhood blaming your parents for everything that's wrong with you and your world, then as an adult you'll be so good at it, you'll blame your spouse and children for your problems. Buck the trend today. In partnership with God, you can help turn a rocky relationship around and see personal growth that will go with you into the future. - Timothy Lash is a 19-year-old creative writer from Broad Run, Virginia. He's co-authoring a book with Chris Klicka entitled "The Home School Teenager.

" Problem #2: I Won't be Able to Get Into College! Colleges are like cops. You don't have to be afraid of them if you've followed the rules. Most colleges don't care where you got your high school education. Some even pursue home-school students, because they have a reputation for being hard-working. I was accepted at six out of six colleges I applied to (including Taylor, Cedarville and John Brown).

Right now I'm a sophomore at Covenant College and I'm not the pit in the canned cherries. I'm one of three girls just in my hall who home schooled at least through high school. "The preparation I had in home schooling was very adequate," said Sarah Barker, a Covenant freshman who was home schooled all the way. "Covenant was very understanding. They would rather have had more information and more statistics like class size/ranking to go on, but they were very easygoing.

They just concentrated on my SAT scores and essays." Covenant is not atypical. Taylor University, a ranking school in U.S. News and World Reports, has a significant percentage of home-schooled students significant enough that they did a study on how to serve them better.

You don't need to worry about a home-school background affecting your admission chances. Follow the few basic rules below, and getting into college shouldn't be a problem. 1. Take courses which meet the requirements of the college you'd like to attend. Standard requirements are four years of English, three of math, two each of a foreign language, social studies/history, and lab science, and one of the arts.

Typing and computing skills are also strongly recommended regardless of your destination. 2. Keep a transcript of your high school courses. Write a one-or two-line description of each course most colleges won't require it, but some ask for this kind of detail. Some schools request a detailed reading list as well.

3. Although it's optional, it's a good idea to participate in extracurricular activities. Since home schoolers are supposedly locked in their houses all day, it's important to do things that prove you're more well-rounded than that. Leadership roles and/or community service look especially attractive to admissions officers. 4.

(Optional) Take the PSAT/NMSQT. Register for the test at a private or public school early in your junior year. 5. Take the SAT or ACT. Get ready for the test with a book like Introducing the New SAT: The College Board's Official Guide, or by attending a preparation class.

(The SAT has changed don't prepare with old books!) These will help you become familiar with the characteristics of the test, and set realistic score goals. Colleges' preferences differ between the SAT and ACT check with the ones you're interested in. Achievement tests on specific subjects (called the SAT II) are offered by the College Board. Some schools require home schoolers to take several of these. 6.

Apply early. Although application deadlines are usually in the spring of 12th grade, many colleges allow you to apply during the summer following 11th grade. If you're planning to apply somewhere, do it before the end of September. Even if the college doesn't require it, you'll then have time to adjust your plans if you don't get accepted. You get a definite edge by applying early an important edge if your SAT/ACT scores aren't extremely high.

Don't let the absence of a guidance counselor bugging you mean that all the public school students apply before you. 7. Cultivate good references. Some schools require a parental recommendation, but many prefer former teachers, any college level teachers you've studied under, another adult who teaches your piano lessons or science labs. 8.

Apply for financial aid. Both federal and state governments offer grants and loans. Some colleges require you to turn in your FAFSA (Federal Application for Student Aid) by March 1st of the year you'll need the aid. (If you're going to school in August of 1997, apply by March '97.) Find out if the schools you're interested in require you to take the GED.

Most don't (even if they say they do), but find out in time to take it if necessary. Have Confidence Prepare for college early, study hard, and above all, learn. Then have confidence. Getting into college won't be any harder for you than for public school students. (It may even be easier: You'll save a lot of time if you can talk your parents into counting your application essays as your English homework!) Get a good education and approach colleges like you can a policeman (unless you've been speeding while driving, or through your academics) with the confidence that comes from having done your best.

- Kara Griffith is working on the world's record for most published New Attitude writer. She's written four features, including two cover stories. Problem #3: I Don't Have Any Friends! Can you home school and still have friends? When my parents took me out of school my eighth grade year, I was sure that the answer was "no." Home schooling conjured images of endless, friendless days in isolation. To me, home schooling was prime candidacy for the "Social Outcast of the Year" award.

Maybe you feel like I did then. But let's examine the validity of these worries. When you complain of not having friends because of home schooling, does it spring from a heart of loneliness or of pride that fears impending "social suicide"? Are you friendless or just frustrated with home schooling and, as a result, taking the friends you do have for granted? Is your heart's desire to have friends, or do you have a problem with being schooled at home because it's not what you consider to be "cool"? Whether you're lonesome and need someone to talk to, or just outright angry that you home school, the following tips might help. You Can Bring On the New and Have Old Friends, Too Cultivating friendship with acquaintances in your old school might take extra time and energy, but it doesn't have to end because you're home schooling. When I first heard that I was going to home school, I immediately thought of my best friend.

We had been going to school together since the first grade, and life without seeing her every day appeared bleak. Yet, throughout those years of home schooling, we remained close. The basis of our relationship is a trust in Jesus Christ and a sincere love to see the other grow and mature not on whether or not we attend the same school or church. Play Your Part in the Body Serving in your church is a great way to meet people from all different walks of life. Don't limit your church activity to the youth group.

Is the same person running the overhead projector week after week? Are the same faithful three people rotating in the nursery Sunday after Sunday? Do the four-year-olds have a Sunday school teacher? The ways you can serve are endless. Ask God to show you an area to help out His people. Turn Sibling Rivalry Into Sibling Revelry One of the last things that I wanted to be told when I began to home school was that I could develop a sharing, caring relationship with my 11-year-old sister. I had spent the first 13 years of my life looking at Chandra as my little-sister-servant-playmate-of convenience, not realizing how special it was to have someone who loved, respected and believed in me. I took for granted this kind of devotion.

Day in, day out contact with my mom and siblings, although sometimes difficult, taught me the importance of being the sister that God has called me to be. Spending quantity and quality time with those who know you best gives you a leap start in learning how to wisely communicate with people, including your future spouse and the family that you may one day have. Don't be ashamed to make your brothers and sisters your best friends. Don't Let Offense Destroy Friendship Are you letting a grievance keep you from enjoying friendship? Not long ago, I was offended by a close friend who I believed was not putting her due effort into our relationship. Slowly we started to drift apart.

Then the Holy Spirit convicted me, and I realized that regardless of my wounded feelings, I was called to love. I was at fault for not being the friend that Jesus, whom I called my Lord, wanted me to be. So somebody offended you. Forgive them! Chances are the time will come when you'll need forgiveness. Don't allow stubbornness and bitterness to eat away at your capacity to experience true friendship.

Reach out and, with a stout-hearted boldness, don't give up. - Rachel Blair is 19 and lives with her family in Lynnwood, Washington. She works at a health-food store. She wrote this article on a typewriter. Problem #4: I'm Not Challenged Enough! There's nothing worse than coming to the end of your daily school routine and realizing that your mind never really had to kick in gear.

If your studies are just "ho-hum," there are two things you need to know: the situation needs to change and going to school is not the answer. Most students would never admit they aren't being challenged. The last thing they want is harder school work. The ones who do feel this way fall into two categories. The first group really just wants to go to school.

These home-school malcontents use the excuse of not being challenged to play on their mom's insecurity about teaching high school level work. If you fall into this group, I have bad news: God isn't fooled. The truth is that if your parents gave you more work and harder assignments, the whining and groaning from your lips would fill the earth. The second group honestly feel unchallenged in their home-school program. Maybe it's because they sense that Mom is too easy on them (after all, she thought they were cute when they were bald and toothless).

This group has a spirit of excellence we all need a dose of once in awhile. For this group I have great news: home schooling offers possibilities not always available to the conventional school student. Check out the following ideas. Randy Get's Busy I'll use my fictitious friend, Randy, as an example. Randy's a bright-eyed 15-year-old with light brown hair and a friendly face that plays home to four freckles.

Randy feels like his home schooling isn't academically challenging. Randy's problem might be easily solved with more difficult textbooks. (Who says you have to study at your grade level?) Or he can hurry through the books he's doing now by finishing two or three lessons each day. A warning to him and you, however. Don't skip any foundational information especially in math.

Annoyingly, math is set up so if you skip a chapter, you might miss something really important which you need to know later like quadratic equations. Or if you skip a history course, you might end up being one of those embarrassed college students not knowing Columbus came to America before the Beatles. Randy's problem might be that his mom just doesn't know much about advanced Euclidean physics and polynumerical assertations. So what is Randy going to do? One possibility Randy might consider is asking an adult (home-schooling parent or otherwise) versed in the area of desired study to tutor him or teach a group class for him and some friends. You'd be amazed to find that someone who has a passion for an area of study is often delighted to teach a bright, eager student.

He may do it for free or a fee commensurate with a community college tuition. Randy can also speed things up by going ahead and taking the GED or its equivalent and graduating from high school early. If he does this, his options increase. It allows him to do such things as take a class at a junior college (which is very affordable) or a four-year college or university, where he'll certainly find more difficult classes. Some colleges allow high-school students to attend without a GED, though there can be confusion determining whether the credit is applied to high school, college, or both.

Many colleges and universities offer open enrollment. This means they will allow students who are still in high school to take correspondence classes which count for college credit. They don't even ask any questions about your age or educational background! Guess what? I'm not finished. There are some other awesome possibilities waiting for Randy. He could get an intern position with a politician, computer consultant, or doctor near his home.

This is perfect for those of you who already have a strong sense of what kind of work you want to do in the future. Apprenticeship not only provides a hands-on learning experience, it can help bring the perspective of reality to one's career plans. If Randy is very self-motivated, he can direct his own course of study using the resources of nearby public and college libraries. He will discover that he can do it on his own. Missionary and shoemaker William Carey taught himself, with books only, how to speak Chinese.

He opened a continent to the gospel. He didn't get any college credit or even an honorary doctorate for his study, but I understand he'll be receiving a crown that "fadeth not away." I hope you're catching a vision that for a home schooler (Randy or you) the options are unlimited. If God has given you a desire to excel, go for it and step up your education. But remember that your motivation should be to please God and find His place for you, not to prove to other people how smart you are.

If showing off and trying to be a know-it-all is your motivation, you may dazzle a few people, but it won't really pay off in the end. Learn because you want to please God and be used for His glory. - Matt Duffy has tried most of the ideas shared here. He lives in southern California with his family. And, yes, his mom Cathy is the one who writes the curriculum manuals.

- This article originally appeared in New Attitude magazine