Chatting with Strangers

Chatting with Strangers The statistics are amazing. An America Online representative told me that more than 100 million instant messages are sent by users every day. That doesn't include the millions of person-hours spent each day in private and public chat rooms. Add to that the amount of time spent sending messages back and forth in discussion groups and through e-mail, and the online communication experience is overwhelming. And that's just America, Online! Add similar numbers from other online services, plus the millions more who communicate through Usenet newsgroups and chat servers on the Internet, and you realize just how sweeping online communication is.

Why? To me there are two main reasons electronic communication is so incredibly popular. First, it's much easier to find people with similar interests, and discussion groups, and chat rooms on designated topics abound on the Internet. Second, the anonymity of the online world is attractive. We often find it difficult to express ourselves openly with friends. Most men in our culture are raised to be wary of anything that would make them vulnerable, and anonymity takes away much of that risk.

In the online world, it's easy to invent screen names that disguise who we really are. Good anonymity There are, of course, appropriate uses for anonymity. The police have anonymous tip lines for those who want to turn in a criminal without putting themselves in danger of retaliation. A teenager who discovers she is pregnant may seek counseling only if she can be assured of privacy. I even find anonymity helpful at times.

For example, when I review a product, I use an assumed name to communicate online with a company's technical support group. If companies think they're dealing with a product reviewer, they frequently offer special assistance. I want to make sure that the level of support I receive, whether good or bad, is of the same quality readers can expect. Masking your identity from others has some uses. But it also entices you to do things you wouldn't ordinarily do.

Over dinner I asked my family, "What would you do if you could be invisible for a day?" There was thoughtful silence around the table for a few moments. I saw a guilty grin appear on one face and heard a stifled giggle from another. Finally my wife, with a caught-in-the-cookie-jar expression, said, "I guess they would all be things you really shouldn't do." Do we act differently when we are out of town, away from those who know us? Do we dress differently, talk differently, read different magazines, or watch different movies? Can we be found in places we would never go at home? When we are online, hidden behind an innocuous screen handle, do we participate in conversations we would never be in otherwise? Do we say things we would be embarrassed about if they appeared in the church bulletin? Seductive weapon The illusion of anonymity is a seductive weapon in Satan's arsenal, but we must always remember that it is only an illusion. The beginning of Psalm 139 says, "0 Lord, you have searched me and you know me.

You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways." With that knowledge in mind, I always use my real name in discussion groups. In entering chat rooms, I'm often offered the opportunity to select a "handle," an alias by which I will be known during the discussion. There are times when I'm tempted to conceal my identity.

When I find myself tempted, I consider why I'm entering the discussion and what I expect to take place. On at least one occasion, my soul-searching convinced me I shouldn't enter the conversation at all. The One whose opinion of our actions matters most knows precisely what we are doing when we think nobody is watching. In Matthew 6, Jesus says that God sees the good things we do in private and rewards us. Isn't the opposite also true? This article originally appeared in the January / February 1998 issue of Computing Today.

Brian Proffit attends Bethel Theological Seminary in St. Paul, Minnesota. He is also a solutions advisor for PC Magazine.